Earlier this week there was a Twitter hashtag, #dear14yearoldself, and I could have tweeted many a reply to this hashtag. Like the previous article I decided the best option was to blog. It has take me a few days to write this, not for the fact it is long merely because some of it is actually a little emotional. So here goes, a letter to my 14 year old self from the future (or present whichever way you see it) as a 30 year old woman.
Dear Me Aged 14,
I am writing this to you when you are 30 so I can prepare you for the next 16 years ahead. Yes, I know 30 seems ancient but you do get there eventually! Right now you are a stroppy hormonal bitch to everyone, this will change but only just. What I am going to say to you may upset you so have Daisydoll and a tissue ready sweetheart.
Very soon you will be changing schools because of something that happens with a few girls at school. Do not worry this change is positive as it will soon transpire Daddy is posted away halfway through your GCSE years. It is the same school as your little sister.
Shortly before the change in schools you and Mummy are involved in a car accident. It leaves Mummy with serious injuries, a neck fracture to be precise. She will be fine but will need lots of time off of work. You sustain whiplash injuries, you were saved from serious injuries by the fact you were eating a KFC Tower burger. Mummy having time off does affect her mental health but bear with her and try not to take everything she says to heart. Daddy is amazing through all of this, as is his boss.
Because of all the bullying you have had up until now your self-esteem and confidence is at an all time low. Please do not allow the bullies to force you out of the education system you are in. Through your whole school life teachers have doubted you would achieve anything more than failure. You are intelligent and very capable of pursuing your dream careers, you know forensics or nursing. You would be excellent at both. Believe in yourself and do not let others make your self belief be dumbed down. Achieve what YOU want, not what others feel you should achieve. You will regret it bitterly.
Health wise, as ever, things are far from perfect. At the moment you are experiencing the start of Crohns Disease. Get Daddy to pester GP and get him to send you for tests, do not believe the IBS diagnosis as it is incorrect. If you get tests done now you will not need a life saving operation that will result in a bowel resection. There will be many other complications along the way but please do not feel like you have to give up or stop fighting. Never give up hope. There is some good news, however, and that is you will stop needing the hearing aids in 4 years time. You will have your ENT surgeon to thank for this.
No matter what happens do not make friends with a group of people you meet in a nightclub, they are the wrong sort. They will ruin your life and turn your life upside down. I do not wish to divulge what happens but you will regret it massively. Stick with the friends you will have at 18 as they would be the best friends you had.
Be true to yourself, you will know what I mean in about ten years time. You are a good, likeable, loveable and caring person. Let people see that side of you, do not hide who you really are. If you do hide the real you it will only lead to massive heartache and never being able to resolve the aforementioned heartache.
Your baby sister will excel at school. She will soon become a very talented musician as well as exceptional straight A student. She will train as a doctor of medicine. As ever you will be incredibly proud.
Life will change family wise. Mummy and Daddy will sadly divorce, eventually you will see it was the best thing to happen as they are both nicer(ish) people. It will devastate you emotionally and mentally, make sure you get counselling before you have a breakdown. Sad isn’t it? Our worst nightmare was a broken home. A home where 2 sets of birthday presents arrive and so on. It is not all bad, they will find happiness with other people. You will not take sides for reasons that will become obvious to you. Allow yourself to cry when you need to, express how you feel.
You will have a few failed relationships but there is hope. Never forget what Nana told you before she lost her marbles, you are a beautiful girl and you deserve someone beautiful inside and out to be your guide through life.
With lots of love, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
PS The hamster you thought is Goldie is in fact a replacement after your Daddy kind of let him out the house! Ooops sorry sweety xxxxxxx
So, that is my letter to me. How many of you are shocked? I know I was.